i just pretty such suck at life.

cut my wrist and black my eyes so i can fall asleep tonight or die
because you kill me
you know you do
you kill me well
you like it too
and i can tell
you never stop until
my final breathe is gone

Once on a yellow piece of paper,
he wrote a poem
and he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog.
and that's what it was about
and his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
and his mother hung it on he door
and read it to his aunts.
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and let them sing on the bus.
That was the year his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
and his mother and father kissed a lot
and the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of x's
and he had to ask his father what the x's meant
and his father always tucked him in at night
and was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem called "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
and that's what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
and the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometimes they would burn holes.
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
and the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
and the kids told him why.
His mother and father kissed a lot
and his father never tucked him in at night
and got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a piece of paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
called "Innocence; a Question"
because that was the question about his girl
and that's what is was all about
and his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her.
That was the year that Father Tracy died
and he forgot how the end
of Apostle's Creed went
and he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
and his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
and the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
and at three a.m he tucked himself into bed,
his father snoring soundly.
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
becaue that's what it was really about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
and he hung it on that bathroom door
because he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

---one of the best books ive ever read

Disney World was absolutely amazing! well our hotel was a walking FCC violation but everything else was great. i took lots of good pics (which i need to get developed) and had a blast with Karli, Jen and Amanda. the only bad part was jennifer scruggs(NOT the cool one mentioned before) im not going to delve into that but lets just say she's full of shit. eitherway, i had a good time and i want to go again.